Movie Review: Revenge of the Fallen

Posted by katsuko on June 27th, 2009 filed in Fandom, Giant Robots, Reality Bytes

So, I went to the 10:00 showing of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen this morning. I went in with mixed feelings, as I did enjoy the first film so long as I took it as a completely separate world related in no way to the original G1 series. (Because from a “G1 is the only good series” standpoint, the movie would be a massive disappointment. But I do like explosions and I do like giant alien robots, so all was well for me on that front.) Plus, as usually happens, most of the reviews either loved it or hated it, which doesn’t influence me in any way but does make me a bit cautious.

That being said, I fucking loved RotF.

The things I loved: Soundwave voiced by Frank Welker. Yes, it wasn’t exactly the classic G1-Wave voice, but hell, Peter Cullen doesn’t sound exactly like he did in the 80s either! I about bounced out of me seat with joy when the first line out of Wave was “Soundwave acknowledges” in the most gorgeous fucking Soundie-voice ever. Seriously. And I’ll get back to the tentacles (yes, tentacles, like in Japanese hentai) later.

Megatron and Starscream’s interactions. Holy shit, hello, G1 homages all over the damned place! My personal favourite moment was, after a battle wherein Star’s arm was torn off and he was carrying it around, Megatron picking up the limb and smacking Screamer over the head with it. Fuck yes, bitches, the beatings will continue until morale improves.

Optimus Prime making a miraculous return from the dead. Yes, they killed him for a little while, but he got better. I honestly wasn’t worried much when he died; Optimus has about a good a track record at staying dead as Starscream does: They always get better, somehow.

The Matrix of Leadership! Finally! We have Matrix, people, all if right in my world once more!

Sideswipe. Holy shit, baby, you had one line but it was packed with your personality. Yes, honey, you are good at what you do. Kisses to you *mwah*

More robots. Always a good thing.

Judy Witwicky. Seriously, Michael Bay, just make a movie about Judy and her antics and I will pay money to go see it. She is officially my favourite Witwicky of all time, and I’m counting Sparkplug in that number.

Nobody shoot me, but… Wheelie. Yes, there is a Wheelie that I don’t want to bitchslap. He’s a mouthy little bastard, but I could still put up with him.

Again, no shooting me… Skids and Mudflap. I know, I know, “but they’re sterotypes whine bitch moan.” No one was bitching too much about Jazz being “the black one” last movie, so STFU about the teenage cars. If you think about it, they were very much similar to the Lambo twins from G1 with a little bit of G1 Cliffjumper thrown into the mix (and yes, I love Cliffjumper, the little son of a bitch ♥). They were seriously the comedic tone the movie needed in spots, and they made me grin a lot. I’m probably gonna piss off a lot of people by saying that, but I did adore them.

The things I didn’t love: More robots. Yes, I know I had that up in the “loved it” section, but at the same time… who the fuck was who? Half of the newcomers were never really introduced! I mean, hell, there’s, what, twenty-odd no-name Decepticons running around, the femmes didn’t get the dignity of being named (oh yeah, “Arcees.” What, you could only be arsed to learn one name, America? Christ, even I’m not that damned lazy…), I only knew Sideswipe was Sideswipe because of early-released images of the mech, and who the bloody fuck was the blue car Autobot who came outta of no-fragging-where with Ratchet, Ironhide, and Sideswipe to retrieve Optimus’ body?!

Optimus died. Again, he got better, but still. Bay was lucky he came back, I think Li was prepped to go to his house and commit an act of arson on him….

The Fallen is Megatron’s boss? WTF? No, sorry, Megs is nobody’s bitch. Thankfully he bit it so Megatron can regain his dignity (if Starscream doesn’t harp on him for being someone’s lap dog too much… but that’s a Screamer thing to do so maybe it’ll be a good thing!)

Too much focus on the “will he say it or not” thing between Sam and Michaela. Honestly, I don’t give a shit if they say the l-word to each other or not. Get back to the robots already!!

NEST. Why NEST? I know they’re the JOE unit, you know they’re the JOE unit, are we only using NEST because G.I.Joe had been trademarked for another feature film? Screw you, in my head-canon they’re still the JOEs.

No, seriously. Who the fuck was the blue Autobot?

All in all, I would give RotF about 7 out of 10 stars. If they somehow get Unicron into the next movie and Bay doesn’t fuck it up too badly, maybe that’ll get a full 10 stars.

ETA: I finally figured out who the fuck the blue Autobot is! Apparently that’s Jolt. Jolt the Chevy Volt. Real fucking creative there, guys, for serious. Yeesh.